He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
