remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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