actually, I'm a sock model
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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