I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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