Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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