I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
