I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Randomize
