new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize