I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
