they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
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