guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
