last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
