you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
