I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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