Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
