i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
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