That's when you crack a 10am beer
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I just sucked dick on a ferry
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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