R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize
