like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
