I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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