Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
