This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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