i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
