Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
