All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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