i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
