I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
