It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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