just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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