STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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