11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
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