Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
it hurts more in the daytime
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Randomize
