Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
