Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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