so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Are we still banned from the library?
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Drunk is not a location!
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Randomize
