our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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