I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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