brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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