the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
There r osticjed everywhere
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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