Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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