new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
