that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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