When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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