love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I just pynch a tree in the face
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
