Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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