white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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