I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
