I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
