I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
