You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
