I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
