this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
