Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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