he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
