PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
