So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
