can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
