I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
