That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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