I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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